"This shirt gives you a raging freedom boner and pisses off commie scum simultaneously. The best part is your freedom boner is so huge you've already got a tool to beat the commies up and send them home with a concussion provided by some Grade A USDA approved beef. They'll be hearing the national anthem and the bald eagles cry for days on end. Then just when they think things will get better you'll be wearing that shirt again."
