I bought Shake for myself, and Bake for my grandson. That little pecker never looked happier in his whole life. When he saw me wearing Shake, and went to change into & Bake, he had been wearing some stupid shirt with a lesbian named Justin Bieber on it. That move alone probably made his balls grow about 3 inches. Then it was time for a driving lesson, so we took off down the Coon Ass Highway and didn’t stop ‘til we got to Tampa. His momma didn’t like it, but by the time we got back her boy was a new, ‘Merica-made man. He grew some hair on his chest, got ripped like Schwarzenegger, and could shoot red, white, and blue laser beams from his eyes. Now wherever we go in our Shake & Bake shirts, we get free hot dogs and fist bumps, and eagles swoop down with ice cold beers in their talons, and fighter jets drop freedom fries from the skies.
