"When I ordered this shirt I was pretty stoked. I imagined the shirt would be cool and comfy. But when I received it in the mail I was blown away - figuratively and literally. Rays of red, white, and blue poured forth from the package as I opened it and the sound of gunfire was heard faintly, as if in the distance. I squinted as I pulled out the elegant garment and marveled in the beauty before me.
George Washington spoke to me then. He told me how I was one in a long line of proud patriots. I knew then my duty and would not shirk from it. The eagle cawed in agreement as I put the garment on. Instantly the Star Spangled Banner began to play around me and I could do nothing but stand proud with my hand over my heart. A single tear fell from my eye as I felt the overwhelming joy of being an American fill me.
Then, with my pocket constitution in hand and George at my side, I went forth to spread the good works of my forefathers. A formation of bald eagles accompanied me on my quest.
