"This shirt changed my life. As I unboxed my package and saw my shirt, I decided to put it on. The second I put this shirt on I felt courageous for the first time in my life... There was a slight tingling sensation that shot through my body like an m1 Abrams tank shooting a commie terrorist in the face. I then scaled a 10,000 story building with my newly developed eagle talons and dove off to drop freedom eggs on terrorists and flag-haters."